Do you love?
Equal Human Rights Will Make People Love Unconditionally
Erich Fromm wrote a scientific book about love, “The Art of Loving.” He defined love as a rational orientation based on freedom and mutual respect. His significant contribution to understanding love made his book very popular. However, Erich Fromm’s attempt to teach people love failed to spread love worldwide because he based love on people’s consciousness. The problem is that people’s conscience is a category with no power to establish freedom, rationality and mutual respect, and nothing else exists. As a result, people have not discovered how to love unconditionally. This paper argues that love depends directly on equal human rights. Equal human rights empower people to demystify indulgence in outer-world values and embrace the inner world where their love resides. This paper teaches people to find love in themselves and develop it unconditionally.
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People can love by nature. Love is the most significant achievement people can develop in their lives. Love is a state of mind based on caring for others, bringing the joy of living. Love is the condition of the soul that enriches the person who loves and the whole world. People who love carry a feeling of inner peace, stability, lightness and joy; that is how loving people can be identified. In a natural society, love exists on its own and develops spontaneously.
People decline love when they alienate themselves from their inherited ability to love. It starts by comparing themselves with other people. Instead of searching for the causes of a good life within themselves, people find superficial explanations by comparing their lives with those of others. They then quickly reach the subjective conclusion that power over people brings satisfaction and a good life. This conclusion is false. The need for dominance generates conflict among people, causing social problems. Power over people has nothing to do with a good life and even less with love. People cannot fight with others and love them at the same time. Conflict among people alienates them from the chance to accomplish a good life. This article argues that escaping social problems lies in equal human rights. It is also a condition for maintaining and developing love. This article explains that idea.
Narcissism
The lack of equal human rights creates narcissism. Narcissism is a subjective state of mind primarily developed by the privileged status of people, which gives people an impression of superiority. One can generalize that the more privileged people are, the more narcissistic they are. For example, spoiled children, excellent students, and influential people are generally more privileged, which likely means they are more narcissistic. But narcissism can also grow in the subjective minds of everyone as a reaction to an inferior position in society, which is nothing but the lack of equal human rights.
The differences among narcissistic people are often only in nuances because every person can build an illusion of power or privileges in their world of thought. Practically all people possess some narcissistic character traits because our alienated culture teaches people to be narcissistic. The less narcissistic people are, the healthier they are for themselves and society. The more narcissistic people are, the less they love.
Some people call narcissism self-love because successful narcissistic people may look lovely and charming. They adore their images, character, deeds and success in society. They enjoy their abilities, thoughts, beauty, characteristics, family, nation, and everything connected with them.
Does narcissism contain love in itself? Rather not, but the problem is, in fact, semantic. If one can say, “I love chocolate,” where “love” actually means “enjoy,” then one can stretch the meaning of love to narcissism, but in a much weaker form. Narcissism and love are separate categories, as their names suggest. People possess both characteristics; however, people who love more are less narcissistic and vice versa. In the following pages, people with more developed narcissistic characteristics are called narcissistic people; even though they can love, their ability to love is less developed.
Narcissistic people are very ambitious. They want to climb the social scale by becoming an authority. Their goal in life is success, whether by achieving power, earning money, winning a contest, or whatever else they find appealing. They prefer to compete and, even more so, to win! The ego of the narcissist is very passionate, giving them enormous energy, which provides excellent opportunities to win but less chance to love. People who love base their mutual relations less on competition and more on cooperation.
Narcissistic people are subjective and tend to value their successes more than they deserve. The narcissistic culture has raised superficial forms of value such as power, wealth, fame, beauty, strength, speed, etc. These values have become the most valuable goals in today’s society. They are not objectively beneficial to people, but an alienated society has put them on a pedestal. Alienated values cannot bring genuine advantages to individuals. On the contrary, those values usually have the opposite effect. These values damage the long-term possibility of creating social prosperity.
If narcissistic people are successful, as famous singers, actors or politicians might be, they are delighted, and their ego shines. This is mainly because such happiness finds the illusion of overcoming their powerlessness in nature, and therefore, the narcissistic pleasure may be pretty intense. As such, it can easily deceive people into thinking they are on the right track. Narcissistic happiness is primarily based on illusions because narcissism alienates people from objective reality.
The problem is that, by developing their narcissistic character, narcissistic people value themselves significantly more than others. As a result, such people lose respect for others, reducing their chances of gaining natural advantages in relationships and diminishing their opportunity to love.
Since narcissistic people overestimate themselves, they can easily confront objective reality. They hardly tolerate competition that may threaten their vision. Sooner or later, life shows narcissistic people they are not as strong, bright, or beautiful as they would like, bringing them stress and frustration. Any happiness people gain through undeserved illusions comes back as a painful payment. Narcissistic people often try to escape their tension by indulging in the abuse of substances; thus, they can be recognized.
Dissatisfied narcissists may quickly clash with others. It can be said that virtually all conflicts in society are based on the damaged narcissistic character of people. In their subjective vision, narcissistic people can identify threats to their alienated needs as threats to their existence. This drives a fight to preserve their illusions. The more narcissistic the vision, the more they hate, and the more brutal the conflict they produce. All the cruelty of this world comes from endangered narcissism. An injured narcissism causes a destructive orientation in narcissistic people. Such people can fall into depression, which can develop into the need for self-destruction that can be extended to the need to destroy the world.
Genuine people have reasonable expectations, which they may fulfill to reach stability. If the world does not match the needs of genuine people, they do not hate; they feel saddened. Sadness is a much healthier emotion, and unlike hatred, it allows people to find a way out of an unsatisfactory situation. Love always benefits those who love, while narcissism rarely achieves that. Narcissism will rather induce evil in narcissistic people, spreading it to the world around them. Narcissistic people cause trouble in their surroundings. People must eliminate narcissism to achieve a prosperous future for humankind. This will be possible by implementing equal human rights.
Love of authorities
Genuine authorities impact society through positive example and help others when asked. They never impose their knowledge or values on others. Unfortunately, such authorities are rare today.
In alienated societies, authorities build privileged power by forcing people to accept their subjective knowledge. Such authorities are inadequate because they cannot improve the community. Throughout human history, inadequate authorities have created a vast amount of false knowledge that society has adopted. Such knowledge is alienated from objective reality and therefore prevents society from natural development.
Authorities and people may build a stable mutual relationship that resembles love. Authorities need obedient people to establish their power. Obedient people need authorities because it is more convenient for them to rely on them than to be left alone in a frightening world. But the relationship between authority and followers is only an illusion of love. If we extend the meaning of love, such love is at least undeveloped. Instead, it should be labelled a perverted concept of love.
A relationship based on the servility of obedient people and the control of authority always presents some degree of a sadomasochistic relationship, which is unproductive. A sadist is a person who finds pleasure in dominating people, which can be developed into extreme brutality. On the other hand, a masochist finds pleasure in submission to authority, up to complete obedience. Sadomasochism should be considered a very unhealthy relationship. You can find more about it in my article Equal Human Rights Will Eliminate Sadomasochism.
Today’s society is not sufficiently aware that all the evil in the world originates in a lack of equal human rights. Authorities build privileges and exploit people through the unfair distribution of social wealth. Unsatisfied followers of authorities are potential time bombs waiting for a reason to release their stress in real life.
In a society without equal human rights, narcissistic authorities deceive obedient people and, on the way to achieving greater power, use them to subdue other people or nations. Obedient people, dissatisfied with the life authorities create, accept leaders’ demands uncritically and become blind henchmen. That easily creates some form of group narcissism, which may only look like love, while building militant foundations for conflicts and wars. A humble masochist, under authority’s guidance, may become a heartless weapon in the leaders’ hands. Militant people do not love. People who love do not support wars. This article claims that achieving equal human rights will eliminate social problems, including sadomasochism.
Falling in love
The first association people have with the word love is probably falling in love. Falling in love is the most famous expression of love today and perhaps the most described and sung term of all time. People often mystify falling in love as a magical, uncontrollable feeling. I would say the main characteristic of people who fall in love is a mix of fear and hope. Juvenile uncertainty and optimism about life increase the likelihood of falling in love.
Young people often believe they need to find the right person to fall in love with, and then romantic love will magically happen. First, I want to emphasize that falling in love is not magical. It is entirely commercial behaviour that gives the illusion of a magical performance. People understand the value of their attractiveness in the alienated market because everyday life teaches them that. The right person for love is a product of careful preparation and chance. There is almost nothing wrong with it because a person should choose a partner who suits them better. Rational behaviour when choosing partners is more than welcome. But people who fall in love quickly are pretty subjective, which means they may not be as reasonable as others. They can be quite foolish in choosing partners.
When an appropriate person for falling in love appears before a subjective person, a high energy of happiness is released that attracts. Suppose it finds a proper response from the other side. In that case, a miracle of “love” appears, releasing all the brakes, and all doubts about the partner's acceptability disappear. The person then feels “the chemistry,” and the world becomes beautiful. This miraculous phenomenon, described in countless songs, is a sweet illusion born of releasing deep insecurity. There is almost no love there. Confident people can hardly fall in love, but they can love.
Falling in love brings such great happiness that it can feel like escaping death. People fall in love because they feel dead in authoritarian societies that take freedom from them. By falling in love, people release themselves from the pressure authorities have imposed on them throughout their lives. Falling in love compensates for all the powerlessness people have felt in society and builds an illusion of power. It brings euphoria, and people often wrongly attribute it to the “loved” person. This is why falling in love is an illusion.
Falling in love is very superficial, and a person who falls in love often quickly becomes satiated with their partner. If emotions toward a loved person end, they were never truly loved because love is eternal. Love develops throughout life. Love is an active learning process that brings pleasure through practice. The person who loves never stops getting to know their partner. By learning more about their partner, a person learns how to improve their partner’s life. That brings the joy of love.
Many people can’t wait to fall in love. If they knew better, they would avoid being in love. Falling in love is sweet, but it harms those who experience it because the uncontrollable happiness challenges their ability to see the situation objectively. People alienated from their productive orientation can hardly love. Love follows from people’s productive orientation, which is based on equal human rights. Productive people have difficulty falling in love, but they can love. Love is stable and grows with time. Once people accept equal human rights, they will build productive relationships in society and learn how to love.
Love of children
Love is a natural phenomenon that develops from childhood. Loving parents take care of their children, showing them what love is. Unfortunately, today’s society has become alienated from its nature and does not know love well enough to pass it on to children. An authoritarian society, through alienating demands, suppresses the ability of parents to love their children. In capitalism, parents don’t have time to give their children the love they need because they must work to survive. Capitalism seems interested in breaking down families to create more dependent workers and consumers. It is a political problem that should be solved by reducing working hours.
Furthermore, in an alienated society, parents are often preoccupied with their ambitions, leaving them with insufficient time for their children. They usually hide their ambitions behind their sacrifices for the family’s welfare, overestimating the value of their ambitions and underestimating their children’s lives. Children who do not receive enough love are emotionally handicapped and less able to love. Such children can easily become long-term problems for themselves, their parents and society. Children can discover how to love later in life, but in an alienated society, this rarely happens.
Instead of love, parents often pressure their children to submit to their will in the name of “higher interests.” Alienated parents cannot see the needs of their children objectively. Parental pressure alienates children from their nature, reducing their chances of living well. Children who oppose adults can easily be right because they are closer to their nature. Therefore, children's resistance should be respected, as it simply promotes equal human rights. Once society accepts equal human rights, parents will learn to discover love and give it to their children. Only then can a bright future for humanity begin.
Love needs equal human rights
People need the freedom to liberate themselves from the influences of alienating authorities imposed throughout history. Free people will discover through practice the genuine way of living. This is the so-called process of disalienation. It will be achieved by recognizing that a good society must be based on equal human rights.
But just a moment, haven’t people today already had equal rights following the development and acceptance of human, civil, legal, constitutional, and other rights worldwide? Of course, they have not! It is only formal equality and propaganda by immoral authorities. Presidents may send people to war, but people cannot do the same to them. Bosses may abuse or fire workers, but workers cannot do the same to them. Teachers may force students to accept knowledge, and students cannot force it on them. Where are the equal rights there? People probably think it is entirely normal because they have always lived in such a society, but this is not normal!
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Equal human rights will solve social problems by developing democracy. It will be achieved by giving people equal legislative, judicial, and executive powers in society. Everyone should get equal rights to evaluate others for whatever they do. Each positive evaluation should bring a small reward to the assessed person, and each negative evaluation should result in a small punishment. Such a policy would make everyone work hard to please others and avoid hurting anybody. This will significantly contribute to creating a good society. Equal evaluative power among people presents a new form of democracy, and the freedom to evaluate presents a new form of anarchy. Therefore, such a policy can be called democratic anarchy. Democratic anarchy alone should be able to build a much better society than we have today.
Let the evaluations have an equivalent value of one dollar. Each reward a person receives from someone else will bring them one dollar, and each penalty will take away one dollar. In that manner, all people will become equal authorities with little direct power in society. It is essential to emphasize that the number of assessments will be limited, ensuring that people evaluate only the best and worst individuals. However, democratic anarchy will still have enough power to ensure each member of society respects others. As a result, people will become valuable to others, creating significant advantages for the community and diminishing or abolishing disadvantages.
Here is one example: the US President might receive 100,000,000 negative evaluations from the American people due to poor policies, lies, and criminal aggression against other countries. This would cost him $ 100,000,000 in just one month. Presidents who fail to meet people’s needs will quickly resign. Only the most skilful and brave individuals would dare lead countries. They will no longer be authorities but sincere servants of the people.
Technically, democratic anarchy will create phenomena similar to love among people because it fosters caring for others, just as love does. But it will still not be love. Once democratic anarchy is implemented, most people probably will not feel satisfaction in giving, which is the basis of love. Initially, the pleasure may come from the egotistic need to receive positive evaluations from others and avoid negative ones. However, it will be beneficial because people will create advantages and avoid disadvantages for society as a whole.
Democratic anarchy will remove social privileges. It must be stressed that individuals' privileged status causes enormous problems for society. Democratic anarchy will teach people that no matter what their successes are, they must not forget that they are equal community members. This will liberate people from narcissism and enable the development of love. I present democratic anarchy in more detail in my article, Democratic Anarchy is the Future of Democracy.
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Equal human rights also need to be introduced in production processes, which will significantly improve the economy. First, society needs to achieve full employment of workers by implementing shorter work hours. Then, people need to accept a permanent, open competition among workers for every public work post at any time. Every public job post will be filled by the worker who offers higher productivity, more responsibility, and demands a lower wage. It is simply a developed job market open at all times. Such a division of labour may seem impossible to achieve, mainly because it never existed, but the realization is a technical problem.
Of course, such an economy cannot be established soon because it will require significant development before people embrace it. But once people develop it, the burdens and benefits of living will be distributed justly, forming a just society. In addition, no economy can be more productive than one where each job gets the best available worker. Private companies will lose the productivity battle with public companies, sending capitalism into history. This economy presents an enormous opportunity for socio-economic improvement and for building good socialism. My article, Developed Market of Work Will Create Socialism, explains the new division of labour in detail.
The new socialism will teach workers to become satisfied with their lives. It will be accomplished by calling on each worker, who is responsible for their productivity, to secure the jobs they want. It will teach workers to set their needs based on their abilities to satisfy them. This is the chief prerequisite for overcoming destructiveness in society because workers who consistently meet their needs are satisfied and not destructive. Then society will develop a new culture that will create a productive orientation in people.
Democratic anarchy and open competition among workers will completely eliminate social privileges, the root of all societal problems. Nobody will have any social privilege anymore. The elite will disappear together with the vast alienation they built. Removing privileges will eliminate the central nest of narcissism and sadomasochism in the community. Then, neither improper authorities nor disobedient people will be able to exist. Eliminating privileges by establishing equal human rights is crucial to society's development. Then a promising future for humankind may begin.
An open job market will increase competition. I’ve already mentioned that competition destroys love. Does this mean that my proposal is against love? No way! Competition cannot be removed in any other way than through people’s understanding, gained from their own experience, that competition is unnecessary and inappropriate for achieving a decent life. Freedom of experience is the only way to find the truth.
The idea assumes that open competition for all workplaces will let everyone try them, demystifying the importance of jobs and balancing interests across them. Also, open competition in all workplaces will be exhausting and diminish workers' competitive drive. As a result, people will give up on the competition and the need to compare themselves with others, and instead find value in themselves. Then they will readily accept equality among people, enabling them to find genuine values in their lives.
There is a vibrant inner world in people where all the love, hate, joy and misery of humanity are located. In a just society, where people understand that they are equal to all others, no matter what accomplishments they achieve, exploiting the outer world will offer little noticeable benefit. Then, people will start searching for values in their inner world. When such an orientation is accepted, hate and misery will be eliminated because they do not exist in the inner world of individuals who are relieved of the need to compare themselves with others. In contrast, love and joy will significantly develop because nothing else exists in the inner world of individuals relieved of the need to compare themselves with others.
The most critical point of an individual’s creation is their own identity. Searching the inner world will help people understand and develop themselves as productive beings. The more people get to know themselves, the more freedom, peace, joy, wisdom, and love they can achieve.
Equality is a sufficient condition for forming a good society and creating love. Equality is the only solution to today’s societal problems and is fundamental for the unconditional establishment of love. Love is a product of people's equal rights.
When people accept equal human rights, they will rely on their power to satisfy their needs while respecting others. That would establish the conscience of productive people. Then, underdeveloped people would no longer exist. Then no one would admire a president, singer, or football player more than anyone else; no idol would exist anymore. Then neither powerful nor powerless people would exist, nor would improper authorities and humble followers. Then narcissism, sadism and masochism would no longer exist. This would overcome the enormous alienation we live in today and allow us to build love beyond the wildest dreams, creating a bright future for humankind.
Conclusion
So far, scientists and philosophers have identified conscience as the primary tool for solving numerous social problems, fostering a good society, and creating love among people. However, it has never worked because conscience is not a category capable of accomplishing such goals. Calling for conscience may affect some people, but never all. One unconscious person can reverse society's conscious efforts. Power to the people, not consciousness, will change the world and make it a flourishing place.
Equal human rights will free people from the power of authorities. People released from the pressure of authorities will demystify the alienated values imposed on them throughout history and discover natural ways of living. It will enlighten people, reducing their interest in comparing themselves with others, making them more productive and helping them find values in their inner world full of love. Then society will start spreading love in its best and most beautiful form. Love is the ultimate outcome of the new socialism, which is based on equal human rights. Once people start loving each other, they will create an entirely new world beyond the wildest dreams of today’s alienated society.
Developed people do not depend on anyone because they can achieve what they need on their own; they love others unconditionally simply because they exist. They find great joy in becoming productive people and even greater joy in love.
Written 22.06.2009
Updated 12.11.2022